College Classmate

I met Jacob during my first week at High Point University. I remember I was standing with a group of friends at a party when he walked straight up to me and said, “Hi, I’m Jacob Mark Blackwell.” To be honest, I thought it was a little weird that an 18-year-old would introduce himself using his full name, but somehow he pulled it off.

I would quickly come to find out that Jacob’s smile and charm would let him get away with just about anything.

Jacob was the kind of person you always wanted to be around. His sense of confidence was intoxicating and that laugh of his was certainly infectious. To say he lit up a room is an understatement. He had a way of making you feel comfortable no matter the situation and oftentimes when with him, you would find yourself feeling lucky that a person with such a big personality and so many friends was choosing to spend his time with you.

He was always laughing and he considered it his mission to make everyone around him just as happy as he was.

Despite Jacob’s aversion to anything academic, he actually loved to learn. He could sit and talk for hours about nearly anything. He was especially interested in how the mind worked and found it fascinating when people had different points of views on a subject. He never wanted to argue or debate, he just wanted to understand. Just don’t ask him to write a paper about it — or do, because he probably would have asked me to write it for him anyways.

Jacob was most at peace when he was in nature. He found his true passion for fishing early in his life and loved to share it with those around him. During a trip to Highlands, North Carolina, in 2014, Jacob attempted to teach me how to fish. To his total disbelief, I actually caught something. When I reeled it in, he took the fish off the hook and motioned for me to take it from him. When I refused, telling him it was gross and I didn’t want to touch it, he laughed and said, “You’re the one who just yanked this guy out of his home and thrust him through the air. The least you can do is give him a little belly scratch.”

He had his own language full of made up words that he used so regularly you probably barely even noticed that they weren’t real. And I am fairly confident in saying he’s the only white boy from Virginia who could get away with calling all of his female friends “shawty.”

He also had a nickname for everyone he loved, and if you were lucky, he probably had more than one for you. In the years I was fortunate enough to know Jacob, I think he only used my real name a handful of times.

He was always willing and ready to tell you exactly what he thought. Pure honesty, delivered with the kindest intention, and most blunt execution. Jacob wasn’t one to beat around the bush, but he always managed to get away with sharing his thoughts without hurting your feelings. This is probably because he was already the first person to compliment you when you walked in the room.

Jacob’s sense of adventure and love for spontaneity was equal parts exciting and exhausting. Once he got an idea, he couldn’t let it go. This often resulted in the spur of the moment road trips to the nearest beach or mountains. Jacob was always up for anything and it was hard to say no him — but it was always worth it.

But as fun as Jacob could be, he also had an incredibly thoughtful side. In trying to understand and overcome his own struggles, he developed a compassion for others, unlike anything I’ve seen before. He knew how to listen and empathize, and making sure his friends felt supported was extremely important to him. He was kind and loving and wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Jacob often hid this side of himself from people, thinking his friends were only interested in him if he was happy, but I believe this was one of the most beautiful parts of his personality.

Above anything else, Jacob’s greatest and purest quality was how deeply he loved his family. His mama bear and pops were the most important people in his life. He told me on numerous occasions that all he wanted was to make his parents proud and despite any of his faults, he never stopped trying to do just that.

He idolized his older brother. Anytime he spoke about Jonathon you could hear the love in his voice and see the admiration in his eyes. I talked to Jacob a few days after his niece Edie was born, and after gushing over how cute she is, he got quiet and said, “Man, Jonathon really has it figured it out. I just want to be like him.”  And I can’t tell you the number of times he would pull up photos of his niece Allie to show me. He could talk about his family for hours, and he often did just that.

Jacob was my person, but I’d be naïve to think that I am the only one who felt that way. Jacob’s ability to make everyone feel comfortable, secure and loved were some of his greatest strengths.

Toward the end of our senior year of college, I asked him about our first meeting and why he introduced himself to me like that. He smiled at me and said, “I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t forget me.” Well Jacob, it certainly worked.